Varun's POV :-

"We are still unaware of who got you attacked, but I can take a guess."

Dheer said to me. He is my younger brother, not by blood, but in his heart, I'll always be the most respected for him. He is the son of my father's extra marital affair, but we have never made him feel distanced from our family.

I despise our father, because he cheated my mother and played with his mother. His mother died giving birth to him and Dheer might never show it but I know deep down, he blames himself for her decease every single day.

After that my mom decided to keep him as her second son. There were a lot of clashes in our house. I feel uneasy remembering all of that. It still haunts me, the memories of my childhood. My dad left us after that, but he never stopped instigating in our lives. He wants me dead, he wants to rip me of all the power I have. But the Mahajan industries thrive only on one name.

Mine. Varun Mahajan's.

"It's not a business rival, is it? So that leaves only one person to be at blame" I suggested, my hands resting on my forehead calmly as I thought.

"Mera chutiya baap!"

I nodded.

"Vo toh achha hua Bhai ki aap kisi tarah se bach gaye, nahi toh Varun Mahajan ko ghayal samajh ke koi aapki jaan bhi le sakta tha" Dheer said to me with his concern etched voice.

A smirk crept up to my face remembering that night. That thunderous night, the storm and the playful calmness. The brave doctor and her stupid stunts. Anybody could have killed me and took his revenge yet I landed in the softest embrace in the darkest of nights. She saved me....while I looked like the carrier of death, she did her duty.

And someone saved me when they could have killed. The reason for her terror, a criminal in her perspective. A very naive someone. Her.

"Kya baat hai bhai? Jab bhi main aapse us din ki baat karta hoon, aap kahi kho jaate ho? Apne baap ko sabak nahi sikhana kya aakhir kab tak vo aise hi ghumta rahega?

"Kuchh nahi hai, chhote bas ek bheegi billi mil gayi thi baarish mein, soch raha hoon Ghar pe pal lu. Rahi baat baap ki toh vo gaand maraye mujhe kya! Is baar use chhod dete hain"

"Billi!? You were paying attention to a cat in such a dangerous situation. Aur kyun chhod sakte hain, aaj Tak usne sirf hamare liye bura hi Kiya hai!"

I chuckled at his naive response. How do I tell him that I wasn't paying attention to that cat but she grabbed it, effortlessly.

"Aap has rahe ho bhai!?"

"Dheer, main use maaf nahi kar raha hoon. Bas iss baar chhod Raha hoon. Kyunki anjane mein hi sahi par ek dil lagi toh dila hi di usne"

I said unconsciously rubbing my lips lightly with my index finger. I was getting lost. Again. In some thoughts. Thoughts of, her.

"Theek hai bhai, ab main chalta hoon." Varun said taking his car keys from my side table. I could tell he didn't like my way of handling this situation. But how do I tell him the very reason behind my behaviour.

"Shut the door." I said in my thud voice and he obeyed.

Once I was alone in my room, I stood infront of the mirror and looked at my reflection. Two black orbs, empty orbs, I didn't like oggling into those. I switched off the lights of my room. I wanted to be in this darkness for some time. To let my intrusive thoughts take the best of me when they know no one is watching. Not even me.

To find what lies in the depth of me, which shows only in the shadows.

My eyes closed on their own, my fingers tapping on the end of the armrest where my arm was splayed. My eyes closed as I leaned back on the headrest of my sofa.

My thoughts wandered, I'm not someone who thrives in the past but today I was taken back to the past memory.

Memory of her.

Again!

Why the hell is she all over of my thoughts!

Nobody controls my thoughts. But she is consuming me, slowly, like a drug. I can see it, I'm well aware of the fact that everytime I close my eyes and let my mind wander, it goes to her, replaying those moments. The same replay I've had for the past seven days.

'She is nothing'

I can keep telling myself that, but deep down I am well aware that she is something.

Something addictive and addictions are dangerous especially to me. The impulse in me, it's destructive. It leads to.....Destruction. Her destruction.

Or.... maybe mine!

I was once again revisiting the past in my mind. Her fragrance. The fragrance I gave in to that night, when I was the most vulnerable. I was vulnerable to her because unlike others, I had no power on her that night. No obligation on her to do something for me.

She was scared, terrified of me, terrified of the blood that covered my skin. I love it, I love her terror filled eyes, the terror in the them. The fear of me, as if she only lived under my protection. It made me feel powerful. So much power on her, that's how I've always been. People should be afraid of me. But then.....

I wasn't powerful anymore. I was vulnerable to....her? I gave into her after terrifying her to the core. I passed out, giving her the perfect opportunity to destroy her destroyer. She must have been frozen. I wonder if she lacks survival instincts.

She could've thrown me anywhere, killed me, abandoned me, just like any sane person would have done.

But she....she treated my wounds. Why!?

It's unsettling. I feel restless, a frown on my forehead above my closed eyes. I was uneasy again, I let my thoughts control me again. The darkness was now taking over me.

Why did she not leave me that night? It feels like I owe her something now. It's the first time someone has had this much power over me. She must have felt her ego getting satisfied. The feared Varun Mahajan was at her mercy.

But she didn't kill me. She spared my life. The life of her potential murderer. Did she really know me? Or did she even care who I was?

Ughh.... I hate feeling this.

This feeling has settled in my gut. Varun Mahajan is not powerless. Not to her, not to anyone!

Sweat coated my forehead, my forehead lines were visible, I was frowning. My thoughts, they are like demons, they are eating me alive. Feeling power over other people, having them at my mercy was the only way I felt there was something in me. I had something in me, but now she was snatching that.

She took me in her embrace, I was breathing in her neck, she must have laid me down on the bed, treated my wounds like a good doctor. She should have kept it professional. I didn't need her concern, I didn't need her kindess. I was well and good in the fallacy of the cruel wold that existed only in my mind, where everyone is just selfish. I remember she had also took my knife from me and kept it away.

I mocked her for that in my mind. Scaredy little cat.

Scared.

She was scared. She stepped away from me. From my advances. She was terrified....of me, the very next morning, as if I were a beast, as if she didn't have mercy on me. She didn't even abuse that power nor did she claim it once.

I gulped, my adam apple bobbed as I remembered her expressions. Her clear face, those trembling lips, she couldn't even look at me properly, couldn't look me in the eyes. Her eyes which looked anywhere but me.

I mocked her again for that.

How much she struggled against me but I didn't leave her. Such a bastard I am! I chuckled.

She was struggling in my grasp,

'Main koi aisi vaisi ladki nahi hoon'

I remember her words very clearly. I was feeling good. I fed in fear. Fear in other people. Fear in her. Of me. She thought I came back to get some benefits from her.

But the way, I grabbed her, I think so too. I could feel her struggle against my chest, her shuddering breath. I was sweating in the dark room, panting, it felt so real. I could feel her.

'Chhodiye mujhe'

That's what she said to me, that day, didn't she! As if she begged me. She'd have been on her knees to get away from me. I felt a rush of blood between my legs. On her knees? My breath were shallow, my lips parted, my head was still against the headrest, eyes closed, but I could still see her.

A drop of sweat dropped down my forehead to my neck. I took long breath from my mouth.

My hand gradually went to my belt, I removed it from my jeans.

I imagined her with me. I had tied her wrist with my belt.

I opened my zipper. My cock sprang free, hard as rock and leaking white fluid. My arousal was evident. She was back to where she belonged. At my mercy,on my knees. I imagined her eyes, she wanted to break free from my grip, but I didn't let her.

A smile crept up my lips, as I remembered her face very clearly. My palm grabbed the base of my cock as I gave it a hard pump. Once, twice, thrice, imagining her. On her knees.

I started pumping my cock, harder, and roughly. I was feeling my balls get heavy. I panted so hard.

"Saanvi..." I whispered breathily into the air. As I increased my pace, my hands ached at the force of my cock. I was rough. So rough. My eyes were still closed. Sweat dropping from my forehead.

"Take it...jaan" I moaned louder. I thrusted harder, animalistic. I was closer, I moved my hands faster, I needed to release it.

I got up from the couch, my eyes opened, a haze of lust visible in them as I looked down and continued pumping my hard cock. I was grunting loudly. I was chasing my release. I wanted real warmth. I desired the warmth of her. My hands weren't enough.

Lust had clouded my mind. I kept thrusting harder, faster and rougher, not caring about my hand. A single stran of hair falling on my face. My chest and abs were all sweaty. Pure emotions is all I had. Emotion of lust, of dominance.

Finally, I released. I released loads of cum on my hands and on the floor. I opened my eyes, and gawked at the sticky liquid in my palm.

I was coming down from the Hangover of her. I washed my hands and freshened up. And I came out, my eyes caught my reflection again. And now I was uneasy once again.

I lost control over my desires. The self control I always admired over my emotions. How did I lose it today! I have never touched myself out of pure lust in the past 5 years.

Then how did I crumble so easily. Nothing shook me enough, not sexy bodies, nudity, nothing. I was very well controlled.

I had multiple sex partners but masturbation?! In complete desire of someone? That's yearning.

And Varun Mahajan doesn't yearn for anyone.

"What are you doing to me, Saanvi Gupta." I said to myself covering my face with both palm in exhaustion as I laid down.

I knew, with the kind of person I am and what I could become, It's only dangerous, if this sickness of her continues to fog my mind.

"This has to stop before it's unstoppable" i said to myself looking at my reflection. And just like everytime, I would control it. I would control the demons I have always kept hidden.